


All the States' horses and all the Kingsman

by Helice



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Fix-It, Gen, Nobody Dies, Post-Kingsman: The Golden Circle, Spoilers, Whatever you think you see is true
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-25
Updated: 2017-09-29
Packaged: 2019-01-05 09:25:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12187317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Helice/pseuds/Helice
Summary: Itty Bitty Tiny Mini Dribbles with xovers of DOOM - Whatever struck my fancy!Mostly conversations between various people at Statesman and Kingsman, this is how I see the Kingsman universe could've meshed with others...





	1. Chapter 1

After they all raised a glass to Ginger Ale's promotion - 

"So... Now that Ginger becomes Agent Whiskey, who's gonna take over logistics?" Tequila asked. 

All eyes turned to Champ. He pursed his lips for a second, then tapped his glasses, "Ah... Root beer, could you come up please?" 

"Wait, you are getting *her*?" Tequila suddenly seemed unsettled. 

"Sure, Champ," a voice answered sweetly over everyone's channel before anyone could say anything. Two seconds later an attractive brunette walked into the meeting room. She's quite beautiful, dressed in a royal blue silk sleeveless blouse and dark grey pencil skirt, dark brown hair falling in waves over her shoulder, but Eggsy felt an almost instinctual apprehension at her smile - for some reason it reminded him just a tiny bit too much of Poppy's. He didn't think he's the only one either: Harry's subtly tensing for a split second besides him as well. He thought this was strange, since they were in Statesman's headquarters waiting to be introduced to Ginger's successor and of course that's someone they could trust... right? 

"... that's very quick of you," even Champ seemed to be a little nonplussed, but then he knocked twice on the table and appeared to make up his mind, "I've asked you up here because Ginger has just become Agent Whiskey, and I think you could handle the logistics from now on." 

"I am always prepared for whatever Statesman needs," Root beer's smile widened, and Eggsy felt Harry's hand twitched slightly, like he's itching for his gun. But then she turned to face Ginger - Whiskey now - and there was no trace of anything possibly suspicious in her genuine expression. "Congratulation, Ginger, and I wish you the best of luck."

"Thank you, Root," Ginger smiled back. 

Eggsy noticed Tequila squirmed at the nickname, then determinedly turned to face Champ, "Champ, I think I should go to England with Galahad - both of them - and help them rebuild."


	2. Chapter 2

"So who is that?" Later at the bar - Saloon, what a strange name, Americans - Eggsy asked Tequila over a glass of Kentucky's best Martini. "You seem really eager to get away from her." He was pretty sure Tequila only offered to go to England with them because that Root beer lady would be doing Ginger's job now. She didn't take Ginger's code name though. "Oh I am quite happy with the name Root" is her saccharine reply at the suggestion, with the reappearance of that unsettling smile. 

"Root beer?" Tequila grimaced. "She's Statesman's techie, but she knows a hell lot more about everyone than I am comfortable with."

"She couldn't be a danger could she? I mean Champ's entrusting her with providing all Statesman's support?" Eggsy sat up straighter. It shouldn't be, this close to Whiskey's betrayal, surely Champ would not place anyone with even a slightest hint of suspicion in charge of Statesman and by extension, Kingsman's resources? But he has learned to trust Harry's instincts if not his own...

"She is trustworthy, I think... but um... " Tequila rubbed his face self-consciously, "everyone's got somethin' in their past they'd rather kept unmentioned, ya know?" He blew out a breath. "I, um, I used to be a strip-dancer before this." 

Eggsy stared. 

Tequila glanced at Eggsy, and his face redden. "I only did it because I was young, stupid and short on money yeah? But that was year ago, and it never came up since, I just thought nobody would find out... So when I first met her, I'd just gotten into Statesman and couldn't believe my luck, you know? Thought for sure I get to be a spy I could do anythin', bit full of myself..." 

"Still is, if you don't mind me saying," came out before the young man could even think. But it seemed to relax Tequila. He barked out a laugh. 

"So I ran into her one day in the tech department and was showing off a bit, yeah? Nice-looking lady who knows what we do, what's the harm in a little happy time? And she just looked at me, smiled, and said 'I wonder where's this name of yours from. Magic Mike, isn't it? Don't seem very magical to me.'"

Eggsy almost choked on his "martini". What kind of name is THAT?


	3. Chapter 3

“I would like to express our sincere gratitude at all the help Statesman’s been giving,” Harry raised his glass at Champ. “Especially the offering of assistance by active agents shall be most valuable.”

“I have been wondering about that,” Champ eyed Galahad the Elder sitting across from him shrewdly. “Never did get a clear list of casualty and damages from your man, but I've been given the impression that everything went tits up and those two were the only survivors?” 

“Oh no, far from it,” Harry sipped his Bourbon and glanced at the amber liquid with appreciation. “From what I have been able to gather from Eggsy and Merlin, the situation was rather dire at home since we’ve lost all but two of our active agents at a time we need people in the field the most, and the loss of a considerable number of hardware and safe houses certainly did not help the matter, but we do have branches in Europe and Asia that are currently in lock-down. We are not entirely rebuilding from scratch, as they say, and thank God for that too, or I shall have a headache worse than a bullet can ever hope to compete with.” 

“That is good news!” Champ laughed heartily and clicked their glasses together, but the mirth did little to conceal the gleam from his eyes. “So what do you need, really?” 

Harry tilted his head. “As I said, we’ve lost all active agents except me and Eggsy, so choosing and training new candidates to fill the table would be a priority. Morgan will take over Logistics since Merlin is temporarily indisposed, but we have yet to decide a suitable place to use as the training ground. I believe that would be up to the decision of our new Arthur.” 

“You guys have a new king already? Who’s that gonna be? Honestly I thought you’d take the chair.” Champ looked surprised. 

“Not if I could help it,” Harry shuddered. “Arthur does not go into the field, and I’d rather had quite enough sitting down for a while now.” It was good that Kingsman had not been as destroyed as their enemies would like to think, but they needed knights in the frontline now more than ever; and going by Eggsy’s tearful proposal over the phone-call, there might not be two Galahads for much longer. “Morgan’s getting her former boss for the job. I believe he is acquainted with some of your agents, actually – Lord Alexander Waverly?”

“Ah yes… Vodka and Brandy worked for him before, said he's a good man, headed an independent intelligence agency – not unlike ours, except the name is real funny, haha! Brandy’s on something right now, but I am sure Vodka wouldn’t mind visiting an old friend and getting out of the country.”


	4. Chapter 4

“Ah, Galahad – both Galahads,” Ginger – Whiskey raised her eyes from the datapad and smiled at the two men at the door. “Great timing, I am just about finishing checking in with Merlin.” 

“Thank you lass, I know you are quite busy being a new agent but I really appreciate you taking care of things before handing it over to Root beer.” Merlin nodded, “Eggsy, Harry. I’ve called you here to make some decisions before the new Arthur can step in. First, Harry, you remember Morgan?” He tapped the pad to put the live video link on screen. 

“Of course, I am very glad to see you alive and well, Morgan,” Harry tipped his head at the lady on the screen, whom waved. She’s in her late forties, with petit but distinct bone structure, deep brown eyes warm, hair streaked with silver tied up in a bun. 

“As do I, Harry Hart, as do I.” She then directed her next comment at Eggsy, “Congratulation on a job well-done, Galahad – but what is this bullocks that I heard about Merlin WENT INTO THE FIELD and GOT BLOWN UP?” 

Eggsy ducked his head. He’s only met Morgan – Ms Teller – a couple of times since he became a Kingsman, because she has mostly stayed in Cardiff in the past year for some research that may or may not have to do with some secret organization nobody’s supposed to know about what for (there are even rumors that they deal with ALIENS, ha! Aliens? In WALES?), but she is formidable both in reputation and in her 5’5 self, and any Kingsman worth their codename knows not to cross the best mechanic on the Isles and the maker of their various gadgets’ mechanism. And Merlin was only injured because he stepped on a landmine…

“Com’on, Morgan, you know we were short-handed, believing only me and Eggsy made it out, and the situation was quite urgent – ” Merlin stepped in and tried to placate her, but the lady was not easily deterred: “I will have you know that if you did a more thorough check with the staff instead of going straight to the bottle, you would find that Lancelot and Percival are still alive and functioning.”

“Wait! Roxy’s alive?!” Eggsy nearly jumped in surprise. 

“Indeed. Lancelot was at the mansion, she received the missile warning and ducked in a panic room in time. Percival saw the others blinked out round the table and took similar action. He tried to warn Arthur but there wasn’t enough time.” 

“So instead of two active knights, we now have four,” Merlin didn’t even try to hide his relief. “God bless the paranoid bastards for refitting every quarter with bomb shelters!” 

“You would know, as I remember you were one of them.” Morgan returned dryly, but there was also a glimpse of a smile as well. “Counting the new Arthur, we now have five empty seats at the table, plus the two on reserve. Not having to replace the all the knights is a relief, but I am sure you know this number is still unprecedented.” 

“Our American cousin has come to our aid and offered two agents’ assistance,” Harry put in smoothly, “Agents Tequila and Vodka – Illya Kuryakin, wasn’t it? I think you and our new Arthur would be particularly pleased to see an old friend.”

Morgan’s whole face brightened in a surprise laugh at Vodka’s name. “Illya! So that’s where he disappeared to! To the ‘damned capitalists’ Capital’! Imagine that! Is Napoleon around as well?” 

Harry turned to look at Whiskey. She raised one of her eyebrows. “Napoleon Solo? That’s Agent Brandy. I didn’t realize you guys knew each other.” 

Morgan waved away her comment. “Alexander set up a life for me in Britain and we lost touch with both of them after the Cold War. It’d certainly be great to see them!”


	5. Chapter 5

“As we were saying, there are a few things that should be settled before the new Arthur step in.” Merlin turned everyone back on the topic. “First one would be the candidates. Frankly it would make no difference if we do it after Arthur has been officially appointed, as anyone whom are new to the table would have no say in recommending a candidate for a seat, but I’d rather do it as soon as possible, considering we would only have four candidates at this rate, and yet at least five seats to fill.”

“Alexander is not the type to want to trouble himself with petty power games anyway,” Morgan hmmmed, “he only considers himself to be a placeholder anyway – he is well into his seventies and the only way we could convince him to take the job is the promise of peaceful retirement within a year or two.”

“In that case, we might consider candidates recommended by high-level staff as well,” Harry glanced at Merlin, then looked at Morgan, “Speaking of which, Elaine, Nimue and Iseult?”

“We lost Nimue in the attack,” Morgan’s eyes darkened, “along with most staff at the headquarter whom didn’t get the warning in time. But Elaine, Iseult and anyone who wasn’t at the shop or the mansion were mostly fine.” Nimue led the biochemical department at Kingsman, she was probably working in the labs as usual when the missile striked. Elaine was the operation manager – a former soldier turned hotel manager whom had tangled with MI6, and an unexpected perfect choice to maintain Kingsman’s cover businesses, Jonathan Pine has only joined Kingsman a little over a year ago. Iseult hasn’t been with them for long either; he ruled Medical with the ruthlessness of a former Army doctor and the dedication of a man having found a purpose again after helplessly watching his best friend plunged to his death from the rooftop of Barts. All of them have already proven to be uniquely indispensible in their own way, and to lose even one was a blow Kingsman could ill afford. 

Merlin cursed. Eggsy ducked his head, and Harry stepped in to calm them down again like the true gentleman he was, “unfortunately the circumstance did not allow us to inflict further misery on the responsible party, but rest assured that Eggsy killed Hesketh extra hard for Merlin and the others.”

Morgan blew out a breath and acquiesced with a nod, somewhat appeased. “We appreciate your effort, Galahad – both of you. Also, fixing your name issue is the next thing on the table – no pun intended.”

**Author's Note:**

> People we have so far: 
> 
> Statesman:  
> Root beer - Sam Groves, i.e. "Root" from Person of Interest  
> Tequila - Michael Lane, i.e. "Magic Mike" from Magic Mike & Magic Mike XXL  
> Vodka - Illya Kuryakin, from Man from U.N.C.L.E.  
> Brandy - Napoleon Solo, from Man from U.N.C.L.E.
> 
> Kingsman:  
> Morgan - Gaby Teller, from Man from U.N.C.L.E.  
> Arthur - Alexander Waverly, from Man from U.N.C.L.E.  
> Elaine - Jonathan Pine, from The Night Manager  
> Iseult - John Watson, from Sherlock
> 
>  
> 
> The characters from Man from U.N.C.L.E. are significantly older in this because they were born in the 50s & 60s and worked for UNCLE during the Cold War.


End file.
